"When life throws you a lemon.....Make Lemonade"
Sounds like a mantra out of the 'Who moved my Cheese' book. You read it. Feel good about it. Seems like something you wanna follow. And then the concept just loses its sheen in due course of time. The reason I think is life is not as simplistic as that one line. Or is it?
You are sad. You got a rap from my boss about my work. You got dumped by your girlfriend. Your car broke down in the middle of the road at 1 am. Damn why did it start snowing the very next minute. Your Mom is calling on your cell phone. You bet shes gonna ask you what You are doing out so late in the night. Reject Call! You called a friend who took a freaking hour to pick you up.
You are happy. Your boss cares enough about your work to give you a chance to improve on your shortcomings. You wish she was the one but good that you found out early and you learned so much from your relationship. Your car broke down in the middle of the road at 1 am. The snow looks so beautiful and makes you feel like you are in a serene place. Feels good to hear your Mom's lecture when you are in such a bad place in life. Gosh do you miss the old days when you could lose all your worries with a hug from Mom. You called a friend who picked you up in an hour. Thank god you have a friend who is willing to lose his sleep and help you at this ungodly hour.
Well beyond everything else. I think life is all about how you look at it. Everyone goes through a bad phase. The best thing to do is to dig yourself out of the ditch one step at a time. The tiniest achievement can be cherished and celebrated with a smile. Be it completing a tetris game beyond level 2 or knocking 4 pins in a bowling game. Happiness is a state of mind that each person defines for himself/herself. So depending on the situation just lower expectations from life. Appreciate what you have as against what you don't and you will have bounced back before you know it!
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Sunday, June 01, 2008
The Power and Futility of Retrospection
For the past few days, I have had the privilege of bouncing off ideas with fellow inquisitive souls. One of the things that was a real take-home for me was how powerful and at the same time futile retrospection can be. Decisions made in relationships, business and almost every aspect of life have a lot of baggage. Some duffel bags and some large suitcases filled with past mistakes. Many a times people are scarred for life due to these mistakes. They carry their suitcase everywhere from that moment on. And end up not having the courage to risk making another decision in similar scenarios. They give in to the fear of increasing their check-in luggage.
So what are mistakes that you me or anyone else makes? Would we make them if we knew they were wrong? Well in some cases we would! Those are matters of the heart which we can take up some other time. More often than not though, given the choices, the circumstances and the lack of ability to view a crystal ball, we would make the same decision. Sometimes we are dealt pocket Kings and we play the hand. Only to realize someone else has Pocket rockets. Sometimes we have so few chips left that we have no option but to go all in with a deuce and maybe still win the hand. So which one is a right decision anyways? No one knows what the river card is or whether someone else has a better hand. We all use our better judgment, evaluate our options and make a move one way or another. So should we really be regretful about our judgments. Well yes and no! We got to understand that every step you take when you have a choice is the best option that you had. Sometimes maybe you just don't know any better.
So who's to say the war in Iraq was a bad decision? Well maybe it was for people who played up the possibilities of WMD. Coz that was unscrupulous on their part. But for the majority it was a decisive response to what they thought they knew! Who's to say it was a bad decision for banks to enter sub-prime loans? They were just trying to jack up their bottom-lines to surpass their quarterly numbers. It turned out to be a disaster for people buying homes beyond their incomes. But again it was their decision to enter a deal and a market which they did not understand well enough.
Do you think we are not gonna make any more mistakes in future? Well best of luck if you think that. Whats important is to make sure you learn the right lessons after you are knocked off the horse. You need to learn to recognize that mistakes happen. But the biggest mistake is the failure to learn from past mistakes. An even bigger mistake is to repeat the same one again. So my fellow humans and mammals and others with a cognitive sense to process this, Be as informed as you can be...Make Decisions.....Make mistakes....Retrospect....Laugh at yourself for doing what you did.....and move on....!!!
So what are mistakes that you me or anyone else makes? Would we make them if we knew they were wrong? Well in some cases we would! Those are matters of the heart which we can take up some other time. More often than not though, given the choices, the circumstances and the lack of ability to view a crystal ball, we would make the same decision. Sometimes we are dealt pocket Kings and we play the hand. Only to realize someone else has Pocket rockets. Sometimes we have so few chips left that we have no option but to go all in with a deuce and maybe still win the hand. So which one is a right decision anyways? No one knows what the river card is or whether someone else has a better hand. We all use our better judgment, evaluate our options and make a move one way or another. So should we really be regretful about our judgments. Well yes and no! We got to understand that every step you take when you have a choice is the best option that you had. Sometimes maybe you just don't know any better.
So who's to say the war in Iraq was a bad decision? Well maybe it was for people who played up the possibilities of WMD. Coz that was unscrupulous on their part. But for the majority it was a decisive response to what they thought they knew! Who's to say it was a bad decision for banks to enter sub-prime loans? They were just trying to jack up their bottom-lines to surpass their quarterly numbers. It turned out to be a disaster for people buying homes beyond their incomes. But again it was their decision to enter a deal and a market which they did not understand well enough.
Do you think we are not gonna make any more mistakes in future? Well best of luck if you think that. Whats important is to make sure you learn the right lessons after you are knocked off the horse. You need to learn to recognize that mistakes happen. But the biggest mistake is the failure to learn from past mistakes. An even bigger mistake is to repeat the same one again. So my fellow humans and mammals and others with a cognitive sense to process this, Be as informed as you can be...Make Decisions.....Make mistakes....Retrospect....Laugh at yourself for doing what you did.....and move on....!!!
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Vote for the Underdog
Call it "Fortune favors the brave" as stated by an old adage or call it the more topical "Audacity of Hope". (Where the hell is he going with this???) If you pick up any of the reality television shows of our generation you will come across an embodiment of "What's he still doing here?" or "Why is anyone voting for this guy to stay in the first place?". So what is it that endears viewers to support 'wailers' (for lack of a more non-insulting insult) in singing competitions? What makes them play tango with 2 left feet in the dancing competition? What makes someone go and watch an non-actor ham instead of sitting through a multi-starcast movie?
All of us have an ambition to make it big in something. (Some people just have a big head....thats another subject to be discussed in another blog) For some of us it is singing, for others it is dancing or playing some sport. Everyone who listens to you sing says a horse neighs better than you. Everyone who watches us dance says Sunny Deol has better moves than that. "Are you nuts?.....If you do that in public you will be the throwing rotten eggs at you!....All your acting is gonna get you is a Razzy some day!" And you know what most of us say "Huh! maybe they are right! Maybe I should not be flaunting my passion and make a jackass outta myself." And we back off. We replace the sarcastic audience by the makedo audience of ourselves in front of the mirror...We do the most inane things when we know no ones watching. Then someone walks into the room and we freeze. "Whats all that about?"...."Oh that was nothing. Just something i saw a friend do." or "What? Nothing at all"...... We kill that ambition and spirit to do what we love doing!!! We get back to our boring work life and keep thinking what if....We just lose our inner spirit and just give up on our dreams.
We get back home from work and switch on the idiot box. Hey theres Sanjaya Mallakar on 'American Idol' or Kasheef Memon on 'Americas got Talent'. We watch them going after their dreams no matter what the psuedo intellectuals say abt them. We see someone who didn't exactly play out the way we did. Someone who didn't fold his cards too soon. Someone carrying a pair of deuces and getting a deuce on the river. And we say to ourself..."Hmm...I could have been there"..."I wish I had the balls to do what hes doin there!!!"...."I think I will vote for him".....(Of course there are other reasons like Sanjaya's rocking hairdos.)
The defining factor though is not the fact that they get voted for. The most crucial thing to note is why they get voted for....I for one think it is more to do with their mad belief in themselves and passion to go after their dreams...They sure as hell are not the best or most talented of the lot....but they sure as heaven (like that phrase....just came up with it....well u can say sure as heaven if u are a bit more self-righteous) are the most brave hearted...Way to go guys!!!
All of us have an ambition to make it big in something. (Some people just have a big head....thats another subject to be discussed in another blog) For some of us it is singing, for others it is dancing or playing some sport. Everyone who listens to you sing says a horse neighs better than you. Everyone who watches us dance says Sunny Deol has better moves than that. "Are you nuts?.....If you do that in public you will be the throwing rotten eggs at you!....All your acting is gonna get you is a Razzy some day!" And you know what most of us say "Huh! maybe they are right! Maybe I should not be flaunting my passion and make a jackass outta myself." And we back off. We replace the sarcastic audience by the makedo audience of ourselves in front of the mirror...We do the most inane things when we know no ones watching. Then someone walks into the room and we freeze. "Whats all that about?"...."Oh that was nothing. Just something i saw a friend do." or "What? Nothing at all"...... We kill that ambition and spirit to do what we love doing!!! We get back to our boring work life and keep thinking what if....We just lose our inner spirit and just give up on our dreams.
We get back home from work and switch on the idiot box. Hey theres Sanjaya Mallakar on 'American Idol' or Kasheef Memon on 'Americas got Talent'. We watch them going after their dreams no matter what the psuedo intellectuals say abt them. We see someone who didn't exactly play out the way we did. Someone who didn't fold his cards too soon. Someone carrying a pair of deuces and getting a deuce on the river. And we say to ourself..."Hmm...I could have been there"..."I wish I had the balls to do what hes doin there!!!"...."I think I will vote for him".....(Of course there are other reasons like Sanjaya's rocking hairdos.)
The defining factor though is not the fact that they get voted for. The most crucial thing to note is why they get voted for....I for one think it is more to do with their mad belief in themselves and passion to go after their dreams...They sure as hell are not the best or most talented of the lot....but they sure as heaven (like that phrase....just came up with it....well u can say sure as heaven if u are a bit more self-righteous) are the most brave hearted...Way to go guys!!!
Monday, February 19, 2007
V Day for Me
Of all the "Hallmark" days in the world, the one I despise the most is "Valentines" day. For all those love birds in the world...I know what you are thinking rt now....(pathetic loser!!!) considering me the Grinch equivalent for Valentines Day....Well I ll reconsider this view someday....Well People you gotta start playin Will 'Hitch' Smith to make the transition faster....
The V day crap was introduced to us by the quintessential Yash Chopra in his movie 'Dil to Pagal Hai'...the Mills and Boons movie which preached every cow had a bull in the world and vice versa (Not to be taken offensively in California...well we can work through the definition).... I mean everyone has a soul mate and we meet them and yadi yadi yada (thats a cool phrase I learned to describe etc. or in Hindi 'Vagaira Vagaira'...Not the blue pill man) So it started putting pressure on singles to get their act together so as to fulfill what Chopra says....Well not only that, it pushed the already hitched guys to start emptying their pockets if they didn't want to end up in the singles club...Well all hell broke loose!!!
Hey am I forgetting something? Oh yeah it wasn't Chopra that gave it the flavor of epic proportions, it was actually people who were hellbent on opposing the hallmark holiday (I would change my opinion abt V day unconditionally if they declare it a Holiday)...They have been playing perfect hooligans disrupting the V day celebrations all over India every year since around a decade ago...(For those of you from outside India....Well refer this.....Its an every year event that they organize)....splashing the V day across TV channels, debates and newspapers, in the process epitomizing the saying "Any publicity is good publicity"...So you have posters burnings...cards burning...shops shattered all over the place....You expect the sales to go down...right?....But people react just the way kids react, to the phrase "No. Don't do that".....You got the picture....The V day business zoomed....So you have got all lovers on to the bandwagon....What next? Well we gotta react to the 'obscene' adjective being hurled at the day...So lets see how do we fight the argument and boost sales as well...Hmm...Why not say that its just not for lovers...Love is universal and can be between any 2 human beings...So you have love between brothers and sisters...Parents and children and what not (By the way there are other hallmark holidays for that stuff like Mother's day...Father's day...and what not! Reiterating my stand...I have no issues if they are actually converted into holidays)...But what about ppl who are single and still feel left out...Well heres another funny concept...a kind of love is to love yourself and gift yourself....(hmmm...what a croak of S#%$!!!)...And before we know it V day is bigger than ever.
So whats my serious stand on this? Well theres no reason not to celebrate V day or Mothers day or Father's day! The important thing is you got to start looking beyond just the days...You don't need some anointed day to express love or to make your mother father or girl friend or friend to feel special....You can do it every day of the year....(Don't celebrate V day every day...coz you ll go broke with the diamond purchases buddy...and btw its much less expensive a candle light dinner on 15th or 13th of Feb).....I mean there is no point making life hell for someone or fighting someone for 364 days and making up for a day....Treat every day as special and give everyone around you the treatment that you would want meted out to you...Go wear that dress you are saving for your bday coz if you wanna feel good anyday is good enough...(Cool advice huh?...Yeah well you know I like Philosophy so much!!!)
To end the scrap on V day, I would want to dedicate this clip from "Love actually" to all my past and present crushes...
The V day crap was introduced to us by the quintessential Yash Chopra in his movie 'Dil to Pagal Hai'...the Mills and Boons movie which preached every cow had a bull in the world and vice versa (Not to be taken offensively in California...well we can work through the definition).... I mean everyone has a soul mate and we meet them and yadi yadi yada (thats a cool phrase I learned to describe etc. or in Hindi 'Vagaira Vagaira'...Not the blue pill man) So it started putting pressure on singles to get their act together so as to fulfill what Chopra says....Well not only that, it pushed the already hitched guys to start emptying their pockets if they didn't want to end up in the singles club...Well all hell broke loose!!!
Hey am I forgetting something? Oh yeah it wasn't Chopra that gave it the flavor of epic proportions, it was actually people who were hellbent on opposing the hallmark holiday (I would change my opinion abt V day unconditionally if they declare it a Holiday)...They have been playing perfect hooligans disrupting the V day celebrations all over India every year since around a decade ago...(For those of you from outside India....Well refer this.....Its an every year event that they organize)....splashing the V day across TV channels, debates and newspapers, in the process epitomizing the saying "Any publicity is good publicity"...So you have posters burnings...cards burning...shops shattered all over the place....You expect the sales to go down...right?....But people react just the way kids react, to the phrase "No. Don't do that".....You got the picture....The V day business zoomed....So you have got all lovers on to the bandwagon....What next? Well we gotta react to the 'obscene' adjective being hurled at the day...So lets see how do we fight the argument and boost sales as well...Hmm...Why not say that its just not for lovers...Love is universal and can be between any 2 human beings...So you have love between brothers and sisters...Parents and children and what not (By the way there are other hallmark holidays for that stuff like Mother's day...Father's day...and what not! Reiterating my stand...I have no issues if they are actually converted into holidays)...But what about ppl who are single and still feel left out...Well heres another funny concept...a kind of love is to love yourself and gift yourself....(hmmm...what a croak of S#%$!!!)...And before we know it V day is bigger than ever.
So whats my serious stand on this? Well theres no reason not to celebrate V day or Mothers day or Father's day! The important thing is you got to start looking beyond just the days...You don't need some anointed day to express love or to make your mother father or girl friend or friend to feel special....You can do it every day of the year....(Don't celebrate V day every day...coz you ll go broke with the diamond purchases buddy...and btw its much less expensive a candle light dinner on 15th or 13th of Feb).....I mean there is no point making life hell for someone or fighting someone for 364 days and making up for a day....Treat every day as special and give everyone around you the treatment that you would want meted out to you...Go wear that dress you are saving for your bday coz if you wanna feel good anyday is good enough...(Cool advice huh?...Yeah well you know I like Philosophy so much!!!)
To end the scrap on V day, I would want to dedicate this clip from "Love actually" to all my past and present crushes...
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
What If....?
If Fate does not make you laugh....then you didnt get the joke....Ever wondered how small incidents/decisions in life impact the way life would be for the rest of your life? Well a few crazy insightful introspective moments prompted me to write a bit about this....let me look back at a few of them as they would have created a parallel universe which wud have been a lot different from the current reality...
1) A few years ago after my tenth (yeah just a few yrs...main itna buddha bhi nahi hua yaar) I was dead sure I was gonna get into commerce...well it turns out I decided to switch to Science 3 days before my result....Consequence...well I had a miserable 2 yrs in SIES junior college when I would have been having a ball in one outta Poddar or Sydenham...hmmm...well I wont write abt the good things that happened coz thats not what this blog is all about.
2) 2 yrs later after my 12th, I was again dead sure that Mumbai was gonna get another hafeez contracter in my shape and form...(for the ignorant souls..I wanted to become an architect)...but again 'meri antaratma' my inner voice gave me direction to turn towards engineering and become a martyr in the struggle to fight null pointer exceptions...(non software folks dont even try to decode that piece of work)...Well what if I hadnt had that thought....I would have been working nights...maybe become a tea addict or worse a smoker....had the opportunity to roam arnd south mumbai as I wud have been in JJ....watched lotsa of movies....hung out at places like Cafe Mondegar...(Gosh I discovered this place so late)
3) What if I had continued Athletics when I was young...well I would have been taller....lets not even go there...this would be like asking bridget jones to write abt the lack of love in her life
4) What if I had studied a bit harder or been sane enough to not make any silly mistakes in my CATs (there were multiple ...yeah)...I would have been sitting pretty in a B school (i know its hard work) and later got a start in my corporate career...
5) What if I had'nt faced financial hardships during a phase in my life...well maybe I would have been a lot more care free and gone on to become a die hard party animal...(thats a bit of an exagerration..but as long as it seems dramatic who cares...) I certainly would have been more trustful of people and maybe would have been able much milder in my ways.
6) Well lets look at a lighter one now....hmm how abt this one.....What if I had sent a red rose to my crush in college???...hmm...hmm...hmm..if not an approval that would have certainly sent my skills of expressing my love in public way up north....
7) What if I had not got into my first company and got into another one?....Well the possibilities are endless on this one...I cud have cleared CAT (goto step 4...another software eng piece of work)...I cud have been in the company of a lot more eligible bachelorrettes...(is that a word?).... I cud have shifted outta Mumbai and had an independent life early on and become a lot more street smart.
Well having said all of the above.....I think the most important thing would be that I would have written this blog with all the things that I did do as one of the points and then went on to wish for all the things that I doid accomplish due to the above not happening.....Am I confusing you????.....I believe that whatever a person is, is influenced by so many conspicuous and lot of inconspicuous things. And truly it is the journey that matters and not the destination...(Thats me trying to sound intellectual)....Summing up whatever decisions I made or whatever need not be looked at as wrong or right...coz they wouldnt have created the 'Me' writing this piece de resistance...So the best thing to do is just leave this introspective nostalgic fervor of a blog as a single moment in time and get on with life....
1) A few years ago after my tenth (yeah just a few yrs...main itna buddha bhi nahi hua yaar) I was dead sure I was gonna get into commerce...well it turns out I decided to switch to Science 3 days before my result....Consequence...well I had a miserable 2 yrs in SIES junior college when I would have been having a ball in one outta Poddar or Sydenham...hmmm...well I wont write abt the good things that happened coz thats not what this blog is all about.
2) 2 yrs later after my 12th, I was again dead sure that Mumbai was gonna get another hafeez contracter in my shape and form...(for the ignorant souls..I wanted to become an architect)...but again 'meri antaratma' my inner voice gave me direction to turn towards engineering and become a martyr in the struggle to fight null pointer exceptions...(non software folks dont even try to decode that piece of work)...Well what if I hadnt had that thought....I would have been working nights...maybe become a tea addict or worse a smoker....had the opportunity to roam arnd south mumbai as I wud have been in JJ....watched lotsa of movies....hung out at places like Cafe Mondegar...(Gosh I discovered this place so late)
3) What if I had continued Athletics when I was young...well I would have been taller....lets not even go there...this would be like asking bridget jones to write abt the lack of love in her life
4) What if I had studied a bit harder or been sane enough to not make any silly mistakes in my CATs (there were multiple ...yeah)...I would have been sitting pretty in a B school (i know its hard work) and later got a start in my corporate career...
5) What if I had'nt faced financial hardships during a phase in my life...well maybe I would have been a lot more care free and gone on to become a die hard party animal...(thats a bit of an exagerration..but as long as it seems dramatic who cares...) I certainly would have been more trustful of people and maybe would have been able much milder in my ways.
6) Well lets look at a lighter one now....hmm how abt this one.....What if I had sent a red rose to my crush in college???...hmm...hmm...hmm..if not an approval that would have certainly sent my skills of expressing my love in public way up north....
7) What if I had not got into my first company and got into another one?....Well the possibilities are endless on this one...I cud have cleared CAT (goto step 4...another software eng piece of work)...I cud have been in the company of a lot more eligible bachelorrettes...(is that a word?).... I cud have shifted outta Mumbai and had an independent life early on and become a lot more street smart.
Well having said all of the above.....I think the most important thing would be that I would have written this blog with all the things that I did do as one of the points and then went on to wish for all the things that I doid accomplish due to the above not happening.....Am I confusing you????.....I believe that whatever a person is, is influenced by so many conspicuous and lot of inconspicuous things. And truly it is the journey that matters and not the destination...(Thats me trying to sound intellectual)....Summing up whatever decisions I made or whatever need not be looked at as wrong or right...coz they wouldnt have created the 'Me' writing this piece de resistance...So the best thing to do is just leave this introspective nostalgic fervor of a blog as a single moment in time and get on with life....
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