The Power and Futility of Retrospection

For the past few days, I have had the privilege of bouncing off ideas with fellow inquisitive souls. One of the things that was a real take-home for me was how powerful and at the same time futile retrospection can be. Decisions made in relationships, business and almost every aspect of life have a lot of baggage. Some duffel bags and some large suitcases filled with past mistakes. Many a times people are scarred for life due to these mistakes. They carry their suitcase everywhere from that moment on. And end up not having the courage to risk making another decision in similar scenarios. They give in to the fear of increasing their check-in luggage.

So what are mistakes that you me or anyone else makes? Would we make them if we knew they were wrong? Well in some cases we would! Those are matters of the heart which we can take up some other time. More often than not though, given the choices, the circumstances and the lack of ability to view a crystal ball, we would make the same decision. Sometimes we are dealt pocket Kings and we play the hand. Only to realize someone else has Pocket rockets. Sometimes we have so few chips left that we have no option but to go all in with a deuce and maybe still win the hand. So which one is a right decision anyways? No one knows what the river card is or whether someone else has a better hand. We all use our better judgment, evaluate our options and make a move one way or another. So should we really be regretful about our judgments. Well yes and no! We got to understand that every step you take when you have a choice is the best option that you had. Sometimes maybe you just don't know any better.

So who's to say the war in Iraq was a bad decision? Well maybe it was for people who played up the possibilities of WMD. Coz that was unscrupulous on their part. But for the majority it was a decisive response to what they thought they knew! Who's to say it was a bad decision for banks to enter sub-prime loans? They were just trying to jack up their bottom-lines to surpass their quarterly numbers. It turned out to be a disaster for people buying homes beyond their incomes. But again it was their decision to enter a deal and a market which they did not understand well enough.

Do you think we are not gonna make any more mistakes in future? Well best of luck if you think that. Whats important is to make sure you learn the right lessons after you are knocked off the horse. You need to learn to recognize that mistakes happen. But the biggest mistake is the failure to learn from past mistakes. An even bigger mistake is to repeat the same one again. So my fellow humans and mammals and others with a cognitive sense to process this, Be as informed as you can be...Make Decisions.....Make mistakes....Retrospect....Laugh at yourself for doing what you did.....and move on....!!!

V Day for Me

Of all the "Hallmark" days in the world, the one I despise the most is "Valentines" day. For all those love birds in the world...I know what you are thinking rt now....(pathetic loser!!!) considering me the Grinch equivalent for Valentines Day....Well I ll reconsider this view someday....Well People you gotta start playin Will 'Hitch' Smith to make the transition faster....

The V day crap was introduced to us by the quintessential Yash Chopra in his movie 'Dil to Pagal Hai'...the Mills and Boons movie which preached every cow had a bull in the world and vice versa (Not to be taken offensively in California...well we can work through the definition).... I mean everyone has a soul mate and we meet them and yadi yadi yada (thats a cool phrase I learned to describe etc. or in Hindi 'Vagaira Vagaira'...Not the blue pill man) So it started putting pressure on singles to get their act together so as to fulfill what Chopra says....Well not only that, it pushed the already hitched guys to start emptying their pockets if they didn't want to end up in the singles club...Well all hell broke loose!!!

Hey am I forgetting something? Oh yeah it wasn't Chopra that gave it the flavor of epic proportions, it was actually people who were hellbent on opposing the hallmark holiday (I would change my opinion abt V day unconditionally if they declare it a Holiday)...They have been playing perfect hooligans disrupting the V day celebrations all over India every year since around a decade ago...(For those of you from outside India....Well refer this.....Its an every year event that they organize)....splashing the V day across TV channels, debates and newspapers, in the process epitomizing the saying "Any publicity is good publicity"...So you have posters burnings...cards burning...shops shattered all over the place....You expect the sales to go down...right?....But people react just the way kids react, to the phrase "No. Don't do that".....You got the picture....The V day business zoomed....So you have got all lovers on to the bandwagon....What next? Well we gotta react to the 'obscene' adjective being hurled at the day...So lets see how do we fight the argument and boost sales as well...Hmm...Why not say that its just not for lovers...Love is universal and can be between any 2 human beings...So you have love between brothers and sisters...Parents and children and what not (By the way there are other hallmark holidays for that stuff like Mother's day...Father's day...and what not! Reiterating my stand...I have no issues if they are actually converted into holidays)...But what about ppl who are single and still feel left out...Well heres another funny concept...a kind of love is to love yourself and gift yourself....(hmmm...what a croak of S#%$!!!)...And before we know it V day is bigger than ever.

So whats my serious stand on this? Well theres no reason not to celebrate V day or Mothers day or Father's day! The important thing is you got to start looking beyond just the days...You don't need some anointed day to express love or to make your mother father or girl friend or friend to feel special....You can do it every day of the year....(Don't celebrate V day every day...coz you ll go broke with the diamond purchases buddy...and btw its much less expensive a candle light dinner on 15th or 13th of Feb).....I mean there is no point making life hell for someone or fighting someone for 364 days and making up for a day....Treat every day as special and give everyone around you the treatment that you would want meted out to you...Go wear that dress you are saving for your bday coz if you wanna feel good anyday is good enough...(Cool advice huh?...Yeah well you know I like Philosophy so much!!!)
To end the scrap on V day, I would want to dedicate this clip from "Love actually" to all my past and present crushes...

Are you Smart or Are you Brave???

Ever wondered what its like to put all your eggs in one basket? Well traditionally speaking....its not a good idea right?...Well lets analyze that hypothesis a bit...Having a plan B or a safety net is great as against risking it all on plan A and push yourself to make Plan A to work like there is no tomorrow.
The smart people always have a plan B....they know, what they are doing, does not have a 100% chance to succeed...And they have a hedge fund kinda concept going for them. So if the attempt does not go through, they can say "Well whatever!!! I always had plan B if this did not work out. I am so smart that I am always prepared for the worst!" Hmmm...well thats a good way of looking at it.
Lets look at the other side now...The Brave people put all their eggs in one basket...They kinda risk it all on that one chance they got....And they are not prepared for the worst....They always keep saying to themselves "This has got to work...else I am totally screwed!!!" So they are audacious enough to not think about protecting themselves from failure!!!
Lets dig a little deeper in the Smart person psyche and the Brave person psyche shall we? The Smart person starts his attempt to get plan A working....Well he runs the first 50% of the task really well...Now as he approaches the last leg, the pressure is almost wilting and knocking the day lights outta him....Now he must fight that pressure off and become a stronger person and try and win plan A...Guess what...his sub-conscious takes over and he begins to think..."What the hell? I have plan B!!! So whatever happens, I am gonna be just ok!"...And before the person knows it....Well he has lost his perspective on plan A and now he is all about plan B....In the process it may so happen that he fails to make that last stretch and fails by just a small amount. Now lets look at the Brave person...He starts off just like the smart one...After 50% of the task is done...He realizes "Geez man! I got a lot of stuff riding on this baby!!! I better get this done".....So he starts running harder towards the finishing line....and as he gets closer to the line...he gets faster coz he knows theres no second chance....
The Brave ones are the ethereal optimists and the Smart ones are somewhat optimistically pessimistic. The third kinds "pessimistic ones" are not considered at all...Coz there is no way in hell they can win. So do you really make that decision to be smart or brave? Or does it depend on the circumstances? Well I would say its a mix of both. Having said that Circumstances do tend to influence your choice. It all depends on what you may have to lose if it you don't succeed. More often than not situations in which you have 'nothing to lose' or you have 'everything to lose' have a way of invoking the braveness of a person. It is when you have something to lose that it becomes grey....Coz then you have a choice to let plan A take as much as you are willing to lose or a little more than that. This little more that a person gives up is a really difficult mix to achieve...if it is too much it jeopardizes plan B and if it is too little...well bye bye plan A....So ppl who have too little to lose in the first place tend to bank on plan A....ppl who have everything to lose put everything behind plan A coz its just about enough to get them thru.....Its when you have choice between either plan A or plan B to succeed that the smart guys chicken out and go for plan B.
So Tell me something? Are you the smart one with the "Hope for the Best. Be prepared for the worst" attitude? Or are you the brave one with the "Be prepared for the Best. Get screwed lest the Worst" attitude? Waiting for your comments...(Ain't this blog very unlike me?...Well I am inspired to write inspirational stuff once in a while!!! What inspired me you ask....I ll get back to it in my next blog!)

First Impressions....

First impressions are last impressions....so they say! Well I gotta challenge that one. Ever wondered why people always say 'Just be Yourself'...confused as to how these two relate...Well let me explain.
I've always believed everyone has 2 sides to themselves....(well who's writing this column...I am...so if you have a problem with the everyone....go write your own)...One of these sides is the one they expose to the outside world and the other is...well the cliche'd real them. As the boundaries between being a stranger and getting to know the person converge...one comes face to face with the real person....But is the person who you meet initially...not the real person...hmm well if you really dig deep into this hypothesis, you will realize that no one is cruel enough to do a volte-face from the initial personality to the known one. Its just that sub consciously everyone develops a public image that represents the person who they want the others to see them as. Emphasizing on the above..a more exaggerated (and a real filmi) take would be a criminal leading a normal life on his off day or (more later) and then donning his work uniform at work..a la Satya...the RGV thriller. So the next time you say to someone 'Just be yourself' coz they are behaving obnoxiously irritating or nervous...maybe thats the real them...or maybe not...I am not a psychology major...go figure that one out for urself and let me know...